P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

A collection of quotes by P. J. O'Rourke.

P. J. O'Rourke (born Patrick Jake O'Rourke on November 14, 1947) is an American political satirist, journalist, and writer. Known for his humorous and often irreverent style, O'Rourke has established himself as one of America's leading conservative voices.

Born and raised in Toledo, Ohio, O'Rourke attended Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, where he began his career in journalism as a writer for the school newspaper. After college, he worked for various publications including National Lampoon and Rolling Stone, gaining recognition for his witty and insightful articles.

Throughout his career, O'Rourke has authored numerous books that cover a wide range of topics including politics, economics, and travel. Some of his notable works include "Parliament of Whores," "Holidays in Hell," and "Eat the Rich," which satirize political institutions and societal issues.

O'Rourke's writing style is known for its biting humor, sharp wit, and no-holds-barred criticism of political figures and institutions. He has been a correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly and a regular panelist on the television show "Real Time with Bill Maher."

Considered a libertarian conservative, O'Rourke combines his political views with his distinctive brand of humor to offer thought-provoking commentary on American society. Whether tackling serious subjects or entertaining through laughter, P. J. O'Rourke has become a prominent figure in American literary and political circles.

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.

Change

In the end we beat them with Levi 501 jeans. Seventy-two yea

In the end we beat them with Levi 501 jeans. Seventy-two years of Communist indoctrination and propaganda was drowned out by a three-ounce Sony Walkman. A huge totalitarian system has been brought to its knees because nobody wants to wear Bulgarian shoes. Now they're lunch, and we're number one on the planet.

Communism

Social Security is a government program with a constituency

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.

Welfare

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucra

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.

Bureaucracy

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a learning

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a learning experience. Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a learning experience. It makes me feel less stupid.

Twentieth Century

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.

Good

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.

Legal

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famo

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

Famous

You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you

You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.

Best

People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certa

People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.

Anger

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Ex

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Death

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the f

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

Politics

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam ca

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.

Experience

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Pet

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failur

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

Failure

The great thing about being a print journalist is that you a

The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.

Great