Dave Barry Quotes

A collection of quotes by Dave Barry.

Dave Barry is an American author, humor columnist, and television commentator. He was born on July 3, 1947, in Armonk, New York. Barry began his career as a journalist in the early 1970s, working for various newspapers such as The Daily Local News and The Miami Herald. However, it was his witty and satirical humor column that gained him widespread recognition.

Starting in 1983, Barry's syndicated humor column appeared in over 500 newspapers worldwide, making him one of the most recognizable and beloved humorists of his time. His unique and often absurd writing style covered a wide range of topics, from everyday life observations to politics, and even the quirks of modern technology. Barry's ability to find humor in the mundane and his witty commentary on society captivated readers throughout his career.

In addition to his column, Dave Barry has authored numerous books, both fiction and non-fiction, which have achieved bestseller status. Notable titles include "Dave Barry Turns 40," "Dave Barry Does Japan," and "Lessons from Lucy: The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog." He has also been awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary in 1988.

Even after retiring from his regular column in 2004, Dave Barry continues to write books and occasionally contributes to various publications. His humorous insights and sharp wit have left an indelible mark on the literary and comedic landscape. N/A

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the huma

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

...light overcomes darkenss. A tiny match can illuminate the

...light overcomes darkenss. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe, [darkness] can be defeated.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Humor Funny Science Accident Gravity

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

The Internet is the most important single development in the

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by d

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.

Saintpatricksday

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desir

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestan

Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many storie

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to bec

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Business Nature

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

If you go and talk to most people, they mean well but they d

If you go and talk to most people, they mean well but they don't have much of a breadth on education, of knowledge of understanding what the real issues are and therefore they listen to pundits on television who tell them what they are supposed to think and they keep repeating that until pretty soon they say, 'Oh, well that must be true.'

Benjamin Carson

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assu

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling t

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.