A collection of quotes by Josh Billings.
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Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
Josh Billings
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.
Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time.
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.
There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of
Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.
Love iz like the meazles; we kant have it bad but onst, and the later in life we have it the tuffer it goes with us
the squeeky wheel gets the grease.
Truth dont require the aid ov elegant and high stepping words, tew express its force, or buty, it iz like water, tastes better out ov a wooden bucket, than it duz out ov a golden goblet.
