Neil Simon Quotes

A collection of quotes by Neil Simon.

Neil Simon (1927-2018) was an acclaimed American playwright and screenwriter. Known for his comedic genius, Simon wrote numerous iconic plays and films. His works, such as "The Odd Couple," "Barefoot in the Park," and "Lost in Yonkers," captivated audiences with his sharp wit and relatable characters. Many of his plays were successful on Broadway and adapted into successful movies. Simon earned four Tony Awards, a Pulitzer Prize, and a Mark Twain Prize for American Humor throughout his illustrious career. His contributions to American theater and comedy are celebrated and continue to entertain audiences worldwide.

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

Life Humor Funny

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally t

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many t

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance.

Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, don't listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says. they all smarter than you out there. They're more talented, they're taller, blonder, prettier, luckier, and they have connections. I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you'll be a person worthy of your own respects.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it j

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you ca

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a wee

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.