Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

Summary

This satirical quote suggests that a conservative is someone who is content with the flaws and problems that already exist within society, while a liberal seeks to change and improve upon these issues. It humorously portrays conservatives as individuals who are more focused on preserving the status quo, even if it includes negative elements, rather than taking progressive action to address and rectify them. The quote also implicitly implies that liberals, on the other hand, may introduce new problems in their efforts to create positive change.

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