In a few more days I'd anticipated telling Veronika that our injections had cured her heart condition. But in light of her unscheduled departure form Villette my telling that particular lie will not be required. The majority of people who attempt suicide repeat that attempt until they succeed. I took a risk in lying to her about her condition, i decided to test the only remedy i have come to have any faith in: awareness of life. Until she finds out from some other doctor that she is perfectly healthy. She'll consider each day a miracle. Which in my view it is.

Summary

This quote highlights the speaker's intention to deceive Veronika about her heart condition and the reasons behind it. The speaker initially planned to inform her that the injections had cured her illness, but upon learning about Veronika's unexpected departure, the speaker determines that there is no need to tell this lie anymore. The speaker justifies their decision by explaining the high risk of suicide attempts being repeated until successful and their belief in the power of life's awareness as a remedy. By allowing Veronika to believe she is still unwell until another doctor informs her otherwise, the speaker believes that each healthy day will be perceived as a miracle.

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