My experience, with both my parents, is that grief has a lot of down, sad things, but I was also really emotionally raw, in the first year after each of them passed. Flowers smelled more intensely, my relationships were hotter, and I was more willing to risk. I was going for it a lot more. I was 'unsober' and I wasn't playing by my rules.

Summary

In this quote, the speaker reflects on their experience of grief following the loss of both their parents. They describe how grief is often associated with feelings of sadness and sorrow, but they also highlight the peculiar intensity of emotions they encountered in the first year after their parents' passing. The speaker suggests that grief made them more emotionally vulnerable and open, leading to heightened sensory experiences, intense relationships, and an increased willingness to take risks and live life on their own terms. They describe this state as a departure from their usual behavior, characterized by being uninhibited and unbound by societal expectations or personal restrictions.

Topics