I live in the crowds of jollity, not so much to enjoy company as to shun myself.
You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintery light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person died for no reason.
M-O-T-H-E-RM is for the million things she gave me,O means only that she's growing old,T is for the tears she shed to save me,H is for her heart of purest gold;E is for her eyes, with love-light shining,R means right, and right she'll always be,Put them all together, they spell MOTHER,A word that means the world to me.
In a WWII radio talk, Lewis champions the well-established idea that actions lead emotions. Although he is making the point with respect to love, he illustrates with the opposite. The Germans hated the Jews, then acted on that. Because they did, their loathing was intensified by their own actions.