But when I would see the surrogate, my first instinct, my first reaction would be jealousy, because she was doing what I wanted to do.

Summary

This quote highlights the feeling of jealousy that arises when seeing someone else performing a desired action that the speaker wishes to do. It suggests that the speaker experiences jealousy because the surrogate is fulfilling a role or engaging in an activity that they themselves aspire to do. The quote implies an internal conflict between admiration for the surrogate's ability to fulfill this desire and the speaker's own unfulfilled wishes.

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