You have to take strength from the people that love you and the people that love Barbara and the huge number of expressions of sympathy and compassion and support. That has been extremely moving.
We bless and curse ourselves. Some dreams are divine, as well as some waking thoughts. Donne sings of one Who dreamt devoutlier than most use to pray. Dreams are the touchstones of our characters. We are scarcely less afflicted when we remember some unworthiness in our conduct in a dream, than if it had been actual, and the intensity of our grief, which is our atonement, measures inversely the degree by which this is separated from an actual unworthiness. For in dreams we but act a part which must have been learned and rehearsed in our waking hours, and no doubt could discover some waking consent thereto. If this meanness has not its foundation in us, why are we grieved at it? In dreams we see ourselves naked and acting out our real characters, even more clearly than we see others awake. But an unwavering and commanding virtue would compel even its most fantastic and faintest dreams to respect its ever wakeful authority; as we are accustomed to say carelessly, we should never have dreamed of such a thing. Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.http://national-library.elecbook.net/830.html
The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror. We think that we are generous because we credit our neighbour with the possession of those virtues that are likely to be a benefit to us. We praise the banker that we may overdraw our account, and find good qualities in the highwayman in the hope that he may spare our pockets. I mean everything that I have said. I have the greatest contempt for optimism. As for a spoiled life, no life is spoiled but one whose growth is arrested. If you want to mar a nature, you have merely to reform it. As for marriage, of course that would be silly, but there are other and more interesting bonds between men and women. I will certainly encourage them. They have the charm of being fashionable.
Passando fra gli insorti che si scostavano con religioso rispetto, [pap? Mabeuf] continuÃ² dritto verso Enjolras che indietreggiava impietrito, gli strappÃ² la bandiera, e senza che nessuno osasse trattenerlo nÃ© aiutarlo, quel vecchio ottuagenario col capo vacillante, ma col piede fermo, salÃ¬ lentamente la scala di pietre costruita nella barricata. Lo spettacolo era cosÃ¬ serio che tutto all'intorno dissero: Â«GiÃ¹ il cappello!Â». A ogni gradino che saliva diventava sempre piÃ¹ terribile: i suoi capelli canuti, il volto decrepito, l'ampia fronte calma e rugosa, gli occhi incavati, la bocca attonita e semiaperta, il vecchio braccio che sosteneva la bandiera rossa, uscivano dall'ombra e ingigantivano nel sanguinoso chiarore della torcia, e sembrava di vedere lo spettro del 1793 sorgere dalla terra inalberando la bandiera del terrore.Quando fu all'ultimo gradino, quando quel fantasma tremante e terribile, ritto su quel mucchio di rovine dinanzi a milleduecento fucili invisibili, si drizzÃ² in faccia alla morte come se fosse piÃ¹ forte di essa, tutta la barricata assunse nelle tenebre un aspetto colossale e soprannaturale. Vi fu uno di quegli istanti di silenzio che accompagnano i prodigi. In mezzo a quel silenzio il vegliardo sventolÃ² la bandiera rossa e gridÃ²:Â«Viva la Rivoluzione! Viva la Repubblica! Fratellanza! Uguaglianza! E morte!Â».