The only thing that I'd rather own than Windows is English, because then I could charge you two hundred and forty-nine dollars for the right to speak it.

Summary

This quote satirically highlights the pervasive nature of capitalism and the concept of ownership. It suggests that if the speaker had control over the English language, they could potentially monetize it by charging others for the right to speak it, drawing a parallel with the business model employed by Microsoft's operating system, Windows. The quote serves as a critique of commodification and the potential for exploitation in a profit-driven society.

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