I think I am beginning to understand why grief feels like suspense. It comes from the frustration of so many impulses that had become habitual. Thought after thought feeling after feeling action after action had H. for their object. Now their target is gone. I keep on through habit fitting an harrow to the string then I remember and have to lay the bow down. So many roads lead through to H. I set out on one of them. But now there's an impassable frontier-post across it. So many roads once now so many culs de sac.

Summary

This quote by C.S. Lewis reflects on the nature of grief and why it often feels like a state of suspense. Lewis explains that grief arises from the frustration of losing someone or something that used to be the focus of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. These impulses had become deeply ingrained habits, but with the absence of their target, one is left feeling lost and suspended. The quote mentions the struggle of trying to continue habitual actions, only to be reminded of the absence and forced to abandon them. The roads that once led to fulfillment now feel like dead ends, emphasizing the profound impact and confusion caused by grief.

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