and I told myself -- as I've told myself before -- that the body shuts down then the pain gets too bad, that consciousness is temporary, that this will pass. But just like always, I didn't slip away. I was left on the shore with the waves washing over me, unable to drown.

Summary

This quote reflects the narrator's experience of enduring intense pain and hoping for relief through unconsciousness. The narrator holds onto the belief that when the pain becomes unbearable, the body will instinctively shut down, providing respite from suffering. However, time and again, the narrator finds themselves remaining conscious, metaphorically standing on the shore while waves of pain continue to engulf them. The quote speaks to the resilience of human consciousness and the inability to escape from challenging circumstances or emotions, even when seeking reprieve.

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