Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said...did you see the guy that did it? She said ... No, but I got the license plate.

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the stor

Topics: Funny, Humor By Rodney Dangerfield

Liked the quote? Share it with your friends.

Random Quotations

Experience is not what happens to you it's what you do with

Experience is not what happens to you it's what you do with what happens to you.

experience, wisdom

You will find men who want to be carried on the shoulders of

You will find men who want to be carried on the shoulders of others, who think that the world owes them a living. They don't seem to see that we must all lift together and pull together.

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have l

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing else in the world... not all the armies... is so pow

Nothing else in the world... not all the armies... is so powerful as an idea whose time has come.

Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning

Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience.

Facts are to the mind what food is to the body.

Facts are to the mind what food is to the body.

It is rarely that you see an American writer who is not hope

It is rarely that you see an American writer who is not hopelessly sane.

Margaret Anderson

Authors & Writing

If our soldiers are not overburdened with money, it is not b

If our soldiers are not overburdened with money, it is not because they have a distaste for riches if their lives are not unduly long, it is not because they are disinclined to longevity.

Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhu

Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman.

Marian Anderson

He killed his enemies because he was afraid they would kill

He killed his enemies because he was afraid they would kill him. Amin ordered entire tribes to be put to death, because he feared they would rebel.

Ryszard Kapuscinski

The practice of politics in the East may be defined by one w

The practice of politics in the East may be defined by one word: dissimulation.

Benjamin Disraeli

When you stop having dreams and ideals -- well, you might as

When you stop having dreams and ideals -- well, you might as well stop altogether.

Marian Anderson

The best advice I ever got was that knowledge is power and t

The best advice I ever got was that knowledge is power and to keep reading.

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the viol

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

The minute a person whose word means a great deal to others

The minute a person whose word means a great deal to others dare to take the open-hearted and courageous way, many others follow.

Marian Anderson

In liberal logic, if life is unfair then the answer is to tu

In liberal logic, if life is unfair then the answer is to turn more tax money over to politicians, to spend in ways that will increase their chances of getting reelected.

In the end, all business operations can be reduced to three

In the end, all business operations can be reduced to three words: people, product, and profits.

It is far more difficult to murder a phantom than a reality.

It is far more difficult to murder a phantom than a reality.

Illusions, Reality

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to b

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.

Marian Anderson

Poets are soldiers that liberate words from the steadfast po

Poets are soldiers that liberate words from the steadfast possession of definition.

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, w

I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.

The community stagnates without the impulse of the individua

The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of the community.

Education is the cheap defense of nations.

Education is the cheap defense of nations.

That in the beginning when the world was young there were a

That in the beginning when the world was young there were a great many thoughts but no such thing as truth. Man made the truths himself and each truth was a composite of a great many vague thoughts. All about in the world were truths and they were all beautiful.

Sherwood Anderson

My father I liked, but it was only after his death that I go

My father I liked, but it was only after his death that I got to know him by writing the play.

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.

The trick is to realize that after giving your best, there's

The trick is to realize that after giving your best, there's nothing more to give.

Sparky Anderson

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and

It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

fitness, health

No manager ever won no ballgames.

No manager ever won no ballgames.

Sparky Anderson

To injure an opponent is to injure yourself. To control aggr

To injure an opponent is to injure yourself. To control aggression without inflicting injury is the Art of Peace.

Morihei Ueshiba

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go to t

I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go to the mountain. And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land! I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Success is the person who year after year reaches the highes

Success is the person who year after year reaches the highest limits in his field.

Sparky Anderson

Success & Failure

I don't think it's necessarily healthy to go into relationsh

I don't think it's necessarily healthy to go into relationships as a needy person. Better to go in with a full deck.

Anjelica Huston

Violent means will give violent freedom. That would be a men

Violent means will give violent freedom. That would be a menace to the world and to India herself.

People are capable of doing an awful lot when they have no c

People are capable of doing an awful lot when they have no choice and I had no choice. Courage is when you have choices.

Success comes when people act together failure tends to happ

Success comes when people act together failure tends to happen alone.

I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the

I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have ? life itself.

Walter Anderson

Copyrighted © 2019 — Quotation.io. All rights reserved.