Discworld Quotes

Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Discworld.

Tiffany knew what the problem was immediately. She'd seen it

Tiffany knew what the problem was immediately. She'd seen it before, atbirthday parties. Her brother was suffering from tragic sweetdeprivation. Yes, he was surrounded by sweets. But the moment he took anysweet at all, said his sugar-addled brain, that meant he was not takingall the rest. And there were so many sweets he'd never be able to eatthem all. It was too much to cope with. The only solution was to burstinto tears.

Terry Pratchett

Funny Children Humour Tiffany Aching Discworld Sweets

Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.

Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.

Terry Pratchett

Time Humor Funny Discworld Parallel Universe

The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This

The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths, found wherever men and turtles were gathered together; the four elephants were an Indo-European sophistication. The idea has been lying in the lumber rooms of legend for centuries. All I had to do was grab it and run away before the alarms went off.There are no maps. You can't map a sense of humour. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.-Terry Pratchett sums up Discworld

Terry Pratchett

Ideas Fantasy Discworld Legend Figurative Dragons

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

Terry Pratchett

Gods Atheism Discworld

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

Terry Pratchett

Reading Read Discworld Bookshop Bookstore

Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious

Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!

Terry Pratchett

War Vetinari Discworld Jingo Vimes

He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings an

He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them on. Another box held a set of knives and Klatchian steel, their blades darkened with lamp black. Various cunning and intricate devices were taken from velvet bags and dropped into pockets. A couple of long-bladed throwing tlingas were slipped into their sheaths inside his boots. A thin silk line and folding grapnel were wound around his waist, over the chain-mail shirt. A blowpipe was attached to its leather thong and dropped down the back of his cloak; Teppic picked a slim tin container with an assortment of darts, their tips corked and their stems braille-coded for ease of selection in the dark. He winced, checked the blade of his rapier and slung the baldric over his right shoulder, to balance the bag of lead slingshot ammunition. As an afterthought he opened his sock drawer and took a pistol crossbow, a flask of oil, a roll of lockpicks and, after some consideration, a punch dagger, a bag of assorted caltrops and a set of brass knuckles. Teppic picked up his hat and checked it's lining for the coil of cheesewire. He placed it on his head at a jaunty angle, took a last satisfied look at himself in the mirror, turned on his heel and, very slowly, fell over.

Terry Pratchett

Humor Funny Fantasy Discworld Assasin Dungeons And Dragons

There are things so horrible that even the dark is afraid of

There are things so horrible that even the dark is afraid of them. Most people don't know this and this is just as well because the world could not really operate if everyone stayed in bed with the blankets over their head, which is what would happen if people knew what horrors lay a shadow's width away.

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Horror Dark Discworld Bed Equal Rites

Good evening, gentlemen!' said the vampire. 'Please pay atte

Good evening, gentlemen!' said the vampire. 'Please pay attention. I am a vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of repressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violent, tearing carnage does not come easily to me. It's tearing your throats out that doesn't come easily to me. Please don't make it any harder.

Terry Pratchett

Humor Funny Discworld Vampires

You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not

You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [...] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.

Terry Pratchett

Atheism Discworld Morality Without Religion The Individual

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you c

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.

Terry Pratchett

Change Travel Growth Adventure Discworld