Animals have these advantages over man: They have no theologians to instruct them, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.

When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.

Kin Hubbard

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.

David Sedaris

To our Palestinian neighbours, I assure you that we have a genuine intention to respect your right to live independently and in dignity. I have already said that Israel has no desire to continue to govern over you and control your fate.

Ariel Sharon

My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.

W. S. Gilbert

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing you grandmother with her teeth out.

George Brett

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. But of course, like autumn, it doesn't last.

C.S. Lewis, Letters of C. S. Lew

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I might have been born in a hovel but I am determined to travel with the wind and the stars.

Jacqueline Cochran

Fear guides more than gratitude.

Oliver Goldsmith

There are a lot of good things about being famous but there are a few not so good things too.

Sharon Stone

No untroubled day has ever dawned for me.

Seneca (Seneca the Elder)

Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.

Demosthenes