Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

Her maternal instinct told her Natasha had too much of something, and because of this she would not be happy

Leo Tolstoy

Without your love It's a honky-tonk parade Without your love It's a melody played in a penny arcade. It's a Barnum and Bailey world Just as phony as it can be But it wouldn't be make-believe If you believed in me.

Yip Harburg

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

P. J. O'Rourke

I acknowledge myself a unitarian

Abigail Adams, In a letter to Jo

Learn about the world, the way it works, any kind of science and anthropology, it's really an interesting place we live in. Evolution is a really fantastic idea, even more than the idea of God I think.

Randy Newman

The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way.

Henry David Thoreau

If you want to happy for the rest of your life, make a crack-whore your wife.

Kerry Jackson

I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.

Unknown

Management by objective works -- if you know the objectives. Ninety percent of the time you don't.

Peter Drucker

The only journey is the one within.

Rainer Maria Rilke

War is Peace Freedom is Slavery Ignorance is Strength

George Orwell

I will not marry Ashton. However bound by honor to do so, I will not marry Ashton. I will not marry, ever! Why not?Because I love you, you idiot!

V.S. Carnes