I was a bridesmaid at a wedding in one picture.

I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

Harry S. Truman

The working-class is now issuing from its hiding-place to assert an Englishman's heaven-born privilege of doing as he likes, and is beginning to perplex us by marching where it likes, meeting where it likes, bawling what it likes, breaking what it likes.

Matthew Arnold

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

Steven Wright

Prestige is the shadow of money and power. Where these are, there it is. Like the national market for soap or automobiles and the enlarged arena of federal power, the national cash-in area for prestige has grown, slowly being consolidated into a truly national system.

C. Wright Mills

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

Steven Wright

Nothing is unchangeable but the inherent and unalienable rights of man.

Thomas Jefferson

The resistance of a woman is not always a proof of her virtue, but more frequently of her experience.

Ninon De L'Enclos

I determine who is a Jew.

Karl Lueger

Becoming a dad means you have to be a role model for your son and be someone he can look up to.

Wayne Rooney

I don't remember any sibling rivalry growing up, because by the time I was really conscious, Tom was going away to college. My relationship with him, which is a very close one, really developed in more recent years.

David Hyde Pierce

There comes a moment in life when one must acknowledge that you just can't keep looking back into your past for reasons to keep someone in your present and future. Regardless of how much looking that cruel reality in the eye hurts...memories can't be enough.

Eiry Nieves

Went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted, surprise me I said, so he showed me a naked picture of my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield