The other day I bumped into Santa Claus. A good bump it was, too! I ought to have been arrested, for there is no open season on Santa Claus. But sometimes a first class collision is an exciting thing. It will knock the wind out of you, and it may knock an idea into your head. True, this Santa Claus did not have the white cotton whiskers or a red coat, but she was the real thing all right! Santa Claus in the flesh and plenty of it. A lady who looked like an animated Christmas tree with packages dangling from very limb and I bumped and spilled. As I was trying to pick up the packages she gasped out, Oh, I hate Christmas anyhow! It turns everything upside down. To which I said, That is just what it was made for. This lofty sentiment did not stop her dirty looks at all. But it is the big thing about Christmas.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Rodney Dangerfield

I think the biggest thing was that I was putting pressure on myself leading up to Beijing. Now I am learning how to take that pressure off and seeing this as an incredible opportunity, but not like, 'I absolutely have to medal.'

Ryan Hall

She's gone. I am abused, and my relief must be to loathe her.

William Shakespeare

You wanna know what scares people? Success. When you don't make moves and when you don't climb up the ladder, everybody loves you because you're not competition.

Nicki Minaj

Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.

Louis E. Boone

Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment.

Pearl S. Buck

Like when I host a party. I hope my guests get along. But if not, how interesting!

Andy Cohen

I said the first concern of the administration of justice must, of course, be the individual. The second concern is the truth.

Elliot Richardson

To note an artist's limitations is but to define his talent. A reporter can write equally well about everything that is presented to his view, but a creative writer can do his best only with what lies within the range and character of his deepest sympathies.

Willa Cather

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Steven Wright

Why is it that an extended olive branch often turns to a clinched fist of hatred?

Don Williams, Jr

We will neglect our cities to our peril, for in neglecting them we neglect the nation.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy