They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

Luck can be assisted. It is not all chance with the wise.

Baltasar Gracian

A man's felicity consists not in the outward and visible blessing of fortune, but in the inward and unseen perfections and riches of the mind.

Thomas Carlyle

When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. As far as I can tell so far, it seems to involve lots of foreign travel and not having to get up too early in the morning.

Neil Gaiman

The aim of a college education is to teach you to know a good man when you see one.

William James

A writer must refuse to allow himself to be transformed into an institution.

JeanPaul Sartre, Upon refusing t

Today is a king in disguise.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

We played in Texas about a year ago, at Emo's, the famous country and western club in Austin. And I figured, well, if I'm finally gonna die onstage, that's where it's going to be!

Alan Vega

To be young is all there is in the world. They talk so beautifully about work and having a family and a home (and I do, too, sometimes) --but it's all worry and head-aches and respectable poverty and forced gushing. Telling people how nice it is, when, in reality, you would give all of your last thirty years for one of your first thirty. Old people are tremendous frauds.

Wallace Stevens

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Abraham Lincoln

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

Jeff Ross

A feeble body weakens the mind.

Jean Jacques Rousseau

To a father, when a child dies, the future dies; to a child when a parent dies, the past dies.

Red Auerbach