I don't really dissect comedy. Nothing kills off humor more than overanalyzing it.

Only mediocrities progress. An artist revolves in a cycle of masterpieces, the first of which is no less perfect than the last.

Oscar Wilde

I think one of the important things that's happened in the course of the century is that life expectancy has doubled.

Ron Chernow

But thoughts don't care about truth and shit. They sit up in your mind and fuck with you whenever.

Richard Pryor

If you cannot learn to love real art at least learn to hate sham art.

William Morris

My dad's whole family is in Madras and I was born in America so we didn't have that big Indian community. I don't really have anything interesting to say about it. When I talk about it people are like, 'meh, let's talk about something else.'

Mindy Kaling

If you worried about falling off the bike, you'd never get on.

Lance Armstrong

After the game the King and pawn go into the same box.

Italian Proverb

He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

Rodney Dangerfield

I filled out an application that said, In Case Of Emergency Notify.I wrote Doctor...What's my mother going to do?

Steven Wright

A purely objective viewpoint does not exist in the cosmos or in politics.

Howard Fineman

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

Ogden Nash

I never really loved school through junior high, but then I started running track my freshman year, and I was just like, 'Wow, this is cool!'

Regina King