Footnote: In 1998, a woman in Saline, Michigan received a patent for a Decorative Penile Wrap...The patent included three pages of drawings, including a penis wearing a ghost outfit, another in the robes of the Grim Reaper, and one dressed up to look like a snowman.

It is better to travel well than to arrive.

Buddha

Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity.

Remy de Gourmont

Blueness doth express trueness.

Ben Jonson

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

Mitch Hedberg

Have you ever sensed that our soul is immortal and never dies?

Plato

Minds do not act together in public; they simply stick together; and when their private activities are resumed, they fly apart again.

Frank Moore Colby

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Groucho Marx

The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.

Helen Rowland

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

Voltaire

If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.

Norman Vincent Peale

Freedom is a condition of mind, and the best way to secure it is to breed it.

Elbert Hubbard

It breaks my heart to see these young, really talented bands getting chewed up into the system. I remember a time if you'd signed to a major label it was such a sell out! But now... unless you've signed to a big label, you're a failure now.

Mike Peters