I got my own back.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, where's the selfhelp section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Steven Wright

Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days.

Terry Pratchett

You want to try and bring a character to life in an honest a way as you possibly can. It doesn't matter whether he's a doctor, an actor, a car salesman or a captain of a starship. If you can bring truth and honesty to that character, then your audience will believe you.

Scott Bakula

Just praise is only a debt, but flattery is a present.

Samuel Johnson

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Stephen Leacock

Do not despise the bottom rungs in the ascent to greatness.

Publilius Syrus

Be calm in arguing for fierceness makes error a fault, and truth discourtesy.

George Herbert

Well I believe in the desirability of an optimal society.

Tom Stoppard

Being a mother is quite tiring. There's not much time to do anything. You just rush around and it's hard work.

Kirsty Gallacher

Though a quarrel in the streets is a thing to be hated, the energies displayed in it are fine; the commonest man shows a grace in his quarrel.

John Keats

Art! Who comprehends her? With whom can one consult concerning this great goddess?

Ludwig van Beethoven

In the past, it was only in science fiction novels that you could read about ordinary people being able to go to space... But you laid the foundation for space tourism.

Nursultan Nazarbayev