I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

War is a quarrel between two thieves too cowardly to fight their own battle; therefore they take boys from one village and another village, stick them into uniforms, equip them with guns, and let them loose like wild beasts against one other.

Thomas Carlyle

In my heart I know you didn

Barack Obama, Candidacy Announce

Science can be effective in the national welfare only as a member of a team, whether the conditions be peace or war. But without scientific progress no amount of achievement in other directions can insure our health, prosperity, and security as a nation in the modern world.

Vannevar Bush

The truth is, no study is possible on the battle-field; one does there simply what one can in order to apply what one knows. Therefore, in order to do even a little, one has already to know a great deal and to know it well.

Ferdinand Foch

The critical opinions of a writer should always be taken with a large grain of salt. For the most part, they are manifestations of his debate with himself as to what he should do next and what he should avoid.

W. H. Auden

Now we have a problem in making our power credible, and Vietnam is the place.

John F. Kennedy

Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th.

Roy Blount, Jr.

It is a good thing to learn caution from the misfortunes of others.

Publilius Syrus

Faith means not wanting to know what is true.

Friedrich Nietzsche

The easiest and simplest thing that any one can do to make their car safer, more gas efficient, whatever - check the tire pressure.

Richard Hammond

In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration.

Ansel Adams

Every man, through fear, mugs his aspirations a dozen times a day.

Brendan Francis