Instead of joyfully looking forward to my birth, my mother began systematically preparing for her own death. She was fatalistic.

Summary

This quote suggests that instead of being excited and hopeful about the upcoming birth, the speaker's mother approached it with a sense of impending doom. She actively and methodically prepared for her own death, displaying a fatalistic attitude. This implies that perhaps she had a pessimistic or negative worldview, where she embraced the idea that her death was inevitable and possibly overshadowed any joy or anticipation that typically comes with the advent of a new life.