I've turned down jobs because I've said, 'Honestly, I can't find my way in. I can't do it. I love you, as a director. I think the script is good. You deserve better than I think I can do.'

Climbing hills was never one of my great ambitions. Perhaps I was just lazy, but I admit--now that I've been climbing a hill every other day--that it's very difficult to think about the stresses in your life while you're trying to avoid falling backwards when a goat with large horns is chasing you because you came too close to the little patch of grass he was planning to eat for breakfast.

Gene Wilder

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

Rodney Dangerfield

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up,and smile for a satellite picture.

Steven Wright

You cannot make it as a wandering generality. You must become a meaningful specific.

Zig Ziglar

If money help a man to do good to others, it is of some value but if not, it is simply a mass of evil, and the sooner it is got rid of, the better.

Swami Vivekananda

A strong man doesn't have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn't match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world.

Marilyn Monroe

A young bride is like a plucked flower but a guilty wife is like a flower that had been walked over.

Honore de Balzac

Money spent on the mind is never spent in vain.

Proverb

I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose.

Steven Wright

The search for Nirvana, like the search for Utopia or the end of history or the classless society, is ultimately a futile and dangerous one. It involves, if it does not necessitate, the sleep of reason. There is no escape from anxiety and struggle.

Christopher Hitchens

There was a time when all these things would have passed me by, like the flitting figures of a theatre, sufficient for the amusement of an hour. But now, I have lost the power of looking merely on the surface.

Lydia Maria Child, Letter; publi

There were times when he could not read the face he had studied so long, and when this lonely girl was a greater mystery to him than any women of the world...

Charles Dickens