Life is hard it's harder if you're stupid.

If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps.

James Thurber

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs.

Steven Wright

To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.

Seth Rogen

Above all the grace and the gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self.

Saint Francis of Assisi

Therefore only an utterly senseless person can fail to know that our characters are the result of our conduct.

Aristotle

We must travel in the direction of our fear.

John Berryman

Whatever it is you want to do, take a job in that field. You will learn by experience and, slow and steady, you'll get it done!

Rachael Ray

That's the beauty of the Web: You can roll around in a stranger's obsession without having to smell his or her house. You can amscray whenever you want without being rude. The site gets its hit and you know more about our species' diversity.

Penn Jillette

Fish and visitors smell in three days.

Benjamin Franklin

I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.

Karl Pilkington

If you cannot renounce the world the genius of happiness will never salute you.

Prutz

I can't give a Professor love!

J.K. Rowling