Life is too short to learn German

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.

Yakov Smirnoff

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.

Jay Leno

A man's own self is his friend. A man's own self is his foe.

Bhagavad Gita

He was rather a low sort of pony. The fact is, he had been originally jobbed out by the day, and he never quite got over his old habits. He was clever in melodrama too, but too broad--too broad. When the mother died, he took the port-wine business.''The port-wine business!' cried Nicholas.'Drinking port-wine with the clown,' said the manager; 'but he was greedy, and one night bit off the bowl of the glass, and choked himself, so his vulgarity was the death of him at last.

Charles Dickens

Now the work of art also represents a state of final equilibrium, of accomplished order and maximum relative entropy, and there are those who resent it. But art is not meant to stop the stream of life. Within a narrow span of duration and space the work of art concentrates a view of the human condition; and sometimes it marks the steps of progression, just as a man climbing the dark stairs of a medieval tower assures himself by the changing sights glimpsed through its narrow windows that he is getting somewhere after all.

Rudolph Arnheim, Entropy and Art

It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth.

Joseph Conrad, Chance

My daughter's mother and I are no longer dating, and the people I'm most likely to date are those around me, who are athletes.

Tyson Gay

i put swagu on my spaghetti !

Sergio Garcia

My Dad is my hero.

Harry Connick, Jr.

I think the American government is now the most corrupt government in the world.

Ginger Baker

Everything that can be invented, has been invented.

Charles H. Duell, 1899

I think Democrats are right. We fight for the American dream, for the environment, for privacy rights, a woman's right to choose, a good public education system.

Barbara Boxer