A major league baseball team is a collection of 25 youngish men who have made the major leagues and discovered that in spite of it, life remains distressingly short of ideal.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

Dave Barry

In war there is no substitute for victory.

General Douglas MacArthur

I think we have lost our groove as a country. One of the reasons was the attack on 9/11. We got knocked off our game. From a country that always exported hope we went into the business of exporting fear.

Thomas Friedman

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands.

Lord (George Gordon) Byron

The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you've just told them.

Rachel Maddow

The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Funeral pomp is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

We are involved in a life that passes understanding and our highest business is our daily life.

John Cage

The past is at least secure.

Daniel Webster

If the money we donate helps one child or can ease the pain of one parent, those funds are well spent.

Carl Karcher

Words are all we have.

Samuel Beckett

My Alma mater was books, a good library... I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity.

Malcolm X