One year they asked me to be poster boy for birth control.

What arouses the indignation of the honest satirist is not, unless the man is a prig, the fact that people in positions of power or influence behave idiotically, or even that they behave wickedly. It is that they conspire successfully to impose upon the public a picture of themselves as so very sagacious, honest and well-intentioned.

Claud Cockburn

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.

Conan O'Brien

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.

Rodney Dangerfield

If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

Kurt Vonnegut

The negative side of football. The negative side of our society. People sometimes go to football and bring to it the negative aspects of our society.

Jose Mourinho

Now, Venus is an extremely hostile environment, and as such presents a lot of challenges for a science fiction author who wants to create life there. However, as I began to research it more thoroughly, I found myself intrigued by the possibilities the world offers.

Sarah Zettel

Whatever it takes to find the real you, don't be daunted if the rest of the world looks on in shock.

Stephen Richards

Imagination is not something apart and hermetic, not a way of leaving reality behind it is a way of engaging reality.

Irving Howe

One act of obedience is better than one hundred sermons.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It's amazing how good getting up and moving makes you feel.

Paula Deen

Image is what people perceive my life to be. It's nothing like the truth.

David Hasselhoff

Millions of young Americans have graduated from college during the Obama presidency, ready to use their gifts and get moving in life. Half of them can't find the work they studied for, or any work at all. So here's the question: Without a change in leadership, why would the next four years be any different from the last four years?

Paul Ryan