It was not the passion that was new to her, it was the yearning adoration. She knew she had always feared it, for it left her helpless; she feared it still, lest if se adored him too much, then she would lose herself, become effaced, and she did not want to be effaced, a slave, like a savage woman. She must not become a slave. She feared her adoration, yet she would not at once fight against it.

Summary

This quote expresses the fear and hesitation experienced by the speaker as they navigate the unfamiliar territory of intense adoration. They acknowledge that passion is not new to them, but the yearning adoration they feel for someone is different and unsettling. The speaker fears losing their sense of self and becoming subservient if they allow themselves to love this person too much. While this adoration scares them, they are not willing to immediately suppress or reject these feelings, suggesting a struggle between their desire for love and their need for independence.

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