People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

Mitch Hedberg

I think that we could be more careful about what we're saying to young women in terms of their expectations. It's unrealistic to expect people to always be in designer clothes. Girls growing up deserve more freedom in how they look and how they feel about how they look.

Emily Procter

I, for one, am tired of seeing movies about men damaging each other.

Vera Farmiga

In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.

Nora Ephron

A bore is a man who has nothing to say and says it anyway.

Source Unknown

No sooner does a great man depart, and leave his character as public property, than a crowd of little men rushes towards it. There they are gathered together, blinking up to it with such vision as they have, scanning it from afar, hovering round it this way and that, each cunningly endeavoring, by all arts, to catch some reflex of it in the little mirror of himself.

Thomas Carlyle

The word of a gentleman is as good as his bond; and sometimes better.

Charles Dickens

Being a famous writer is a little like being a tall dwarf. You're on the edge of normality.

John Updike

The College Access and Opportunity Act addresses the important need to make higher education more affordable and easier to access for low and middle-income students.

Ron Lewis

Everyone who has run knows that its most important value is in removing tension and allowing a release from whatever other cares the day may bring.

Jimmy Carter

Religion is not provided to us by revelation, it doesn't come from the heavens, it doesn't come from the beyond, it doesn't come from the divine. It's man-made. And it shows. It shows very well - that religion is created, invented, imposed by a species half a chromosome away from the chimpanzee.

Christopher Hitchens

A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future.

Oliver Goldsmith