Summary
This quote reflects a feeling of deep dissatisfaction and frustration with the nature of politics. The emphasis on "when I am in it" suggests that the speaker becomes disillusioned and disheartened when personally involved in politics. It conveys a sense that the speaker finds politics to be troubling and distasteful, possibly due to witnessing or experiencing its negative aspects, such as manipulation, power struggles, or corruption. It implies a longing for a more ethical and noble approach to governing, or the desire to distance oneself from the complexities and compromises inherent in the political arena.