For some reason, people find me funny. It's quite hard to define why a thought is funny. It's even harder to define why a person would be funny. It's a word that I can't define at all. But whether I know quite what it is or not, I seem to be it.

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

Marilyn Monroe

Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different outcome.

Chinese Proverb

Psychologism is the most comfortable conception of life, because according to it there are no longer any more problems. That is why it also condemns all solutions from the outset, since it acknowledges the actual problems as little as the idea of truth.

Otto Weininger

He who would dig right down to the truth must simplify; his faith must be brutally simple, or he is lost. Laugh at the subtle shades and distinctions of the rhetoricians and the specialist physicians. Say aloud: This is what is, and then, That is what must be.

Henri Barbusse

Our young people have come to look upon war as a kind of beneficent deity, which not only adds to the national honor but uplifts a nation and develops patriotism and courage. That is all true. But it is only fair, too, to let them know that the garments of the deity are filthy and that some of her influences debase and befoul a people.

Rebecca Harding Davis

We believe it wrong ever to take a dollar from a free citizen without a very necessary public purpose, because each such taking diminishes the freedom to spend that dollar as its owner would prefer.

Mitch Daniels

Entitle us to the Liberty of proving the Truth of the Papers, which in the Information are called false, malicious, seditious and scandalous.

John Peter Zenger

I love talking about women because they are a constant study and you're always learning.

Mario Lopez

What doesn't quicken dies. That's an indisputable truth of life.

Dean Koontz

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

Tim Vine

And it's absolutely true that male sexual behaviour and female responses to male demands change a lot when they start communicating - and the levels of the communication that I've seen on the ground in very, very poor areas are so high and I think why don't we have that here?

Emma Thompson

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

Dave Barry