The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose.

Larry McMurtry

A spirit is, like, your mother, my dad, who've made it. They can come around, but they come around in a loving way because they've already made it to God. Most people make it.

Sylvia Browne

A teacher enlarges people in all sorts of ways besides just his subject matter.

Wallace Stegner

Who saves his country violates no law.

Napoleon Bonaparte

While I had often said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love.

Roger Zelazny

History shows that there are no invincible armies.

Joseph Stalin

If it's total freedom, I guess the ultimate thing you can go into is total silence between the audience and performer, with the performer projecting something he doesn't even have to play.

Alice Cooper

Ferdinand was a gold trader. He was a lawyer for mining companies. When he entered politics in l949, he had tons and tons of gold. When Bill Gates was a college dropout, Ferdinand already possessed billions of dollars and tons of gold. It wasn't stolen.

Imelda Marcos

Although he's regularly asked to do so, God does not take sides in American politics.

George J. Mitchell

Each religion, by the help of more or less myth, which it takes more or less seriously, proposes some method of fortifying the human soul and enabling it to make its peace with its destiny.

George Santayana

When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.

Augusten Burroughs

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it, namely, that, in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

Mark Twain