Wrong life cannot be lived rightly.

I made some truly awful movies. 'Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot' was the worst. If you ever want someone to confess to murder just make him or her sit through that film. They will confess to anything after 15 minutes.

Sylvester Stallone

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls.

Terry Pratchett

Every man has a property in his own person. This nobody has a right to, but himself.

John Locke

They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.

Steven Wright

We all know that Prime Ministers are wedded to the truth, but like other wedded couples they sometimes live apart.

Hector Hugh Munro

There is no fate that can not be surmounted by scorn. If the descent is thus sometimes performed in sorrow, it can also take place in joy. This word is not too much. Again I fancy Sisyphus returning toward his rock, and the sorrow was in the beginning.

Albert Camus

The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.

George Edward Moore

I might be a beast astray, with no sense of its environment, yet there was some meaning in my foolish life, something in me gave an answer and was the receiver of those distant calls from worlds far above.

Hermann Hesse

My father still is a lawyer, and my mom was a teacher and then later a career counselor.

Steve Case

Galileo was no idiot. Only an idiot could believe that science requires martyrdom - that may be necessary in religion, but in time a scientific result will establish itself.

David Hilbert

Correspondences are like small clothes before the invention of suspenders; it is impossible to keep them up.

Sydney Smith

Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.

Mark Twain