Mark Twain Quotes

A collection of quotes by Mark Twain.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, and lecturer. He was born on November 30, 1835, in Florida, Missouri. Twain is renowned for his classic American novels, including "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."

At a young age, Twain moved with his family to Hannibal, Missouri, a town that became the inspiration for his fictional works. As a teenager, he worked as a printer's apprentice and later became a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River. However, the advent of the Civil War disrupted river traffic, leading him to explore other professions.

Twain gained popularity as a humorist with his witty essays and short stories published in newspapers. However, it was his novels that solidified his reputation as a literary icon. "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and its sequel, "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," beautifully captured his observations of American society and the complexities of race and morality.

His writing style was marked by sharp wit, satire, and a distinct vernacular voice that reflected the colloquial language of the American Midwest. Twain's works not only entertained readers but also provided commentary on various social issues of his time.

Throughout his career, Twain became a celebrated public figure, known for his insightful lectures and travel writings. His works have had a lasting impact not only on American literature but also on the development of the modern short story and the American novel. Mark Twain remains an influential figure in the literary world, remembered for his ability to capture the essence of the human experience through his unique storytelling style.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Ev

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

Theend

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is li

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

Advice Writing Clever Exclamation Point

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Congress

Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it t

Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.

Sex

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother

Babies

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere els

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Custom

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don'

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

If every one was satisfied with themselves, there would be n

If every one was satisfied with themselves, there would be no heroes

Inspirational Quotes

The test of any good fiction is that you should care somethi

The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell together, as quickly as possible.

Writing

There has never been a just [war], never an honorable one--o

There has never been a just [war], never an honorable one--on the part of the instigator of the war. I can see a million years ahead, and this rule will never change in so many as half a dozen instances. The loud little handful--as usual--will shout for the war. The pulpit will--warily and cautiously--object--at first; the great, big, dull bulk of the nation will rub its sleepy eyes and try to make out why there should be a war, and will say, earnestly and indignantly, 'It is unjust and dishonorable, and there is no necessity for it.' Then the handful will shout louder. A few fair men on the other side will argue and reason against the war with speech and pen, and at first will have a hearing and be applauded; but it will not last long; those others will outshout them, and presently the anti-war audiences will thin out and lose popularity. Before long you will see this curious thing: the speakers stoned from the platform, and free speech strangled by hordes of furious men who in their secret hearts are still at one with those stoned speakers--as earlier--but do not dare say so. And now the whole nation--pulpit and all--will take up the war-cry, and shout itself hoarse, and mob any honest man who ventures to open his mouth; and presently such mouths will cease to open. Next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.

War

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Humor Funny

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Eve

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.

Books Writing

We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and

We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.

Religion

Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one ba

Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and watch that basket.

One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural ph

One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.

Travel

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostl

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again

Joy Achievement

Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can t

Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it

Weather

I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it ex

I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

Reading Criticism Writing Austen Jerk

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.

Books Praise

He spoke of humor, and thought it must be one of the chief a

He spoke of humor, and thought it must be one of the chief attributes of God. He cited plants and animals that were distinctly humorous in form and in their characteristics. These he declared were God's jokes.

Humor Funny