Terry Pratchett Quotes

She heard him mutter, 'Can you take away this grief?''I'm sorry,' she replied. 'Everyone asks me. And I would not do so even if I knew how. It belongs to you. Only time and tears take away grief; that is what they are for.

Terry Pratchett

I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.

Terry Pratchett

It was quite impossible to describe. Here is what it looked like. It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley. It smelled like the total eclipse of the moon.

Terry Pratchett

God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, ie., everybody, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

Terry Pratchett

Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

Terry Pratchett

It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.

Terry Pratchett

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Terry Pratchett

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

Terry Pratchett

The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.

Terry Pratchett

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Terry Pratchett

If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

Terry Pratchett

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.

Terry Pratchett

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.Elves are terrific. They beget terror.The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.No one ever said elves are nice.Elves are bad.

Terry Pratchett

Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.

Terry Pratchett

We're on a mission from Glod.

Terry Pratchett

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

Terry Pratchett

Other people say: hold on, if he's carrying the entire universe in a sack, right, that means he's carrying himself and the sack the sack, because the universe contains everything. Including him. And the sack, of course. Which contains him and the sack already. As it were.To which the reply is: well?

Terry Pratchett

And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone.

Terry Pratchett

The calender of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.

Terry Pratchett