Elayne Boosler Quotes

A collection of quotes by Elayne Boosler.

Elayne Boosler is an American comedian, actress, and writer, known for her sharp wit and insightful commentary. She was born on August 18, 1952, in Brooklyn, New York. Boosler began her career performing stand-up comedy in the 1970s. With her clever punchlines, observational humor, and sassy demeanor, she quickly gained popularity in the comedy scene.

Boosler's comedy often touches on social and political issues. She fearlessly tackles topics such as feminism, animal rights, and the struggles of being a woman in a male-dominated industry. Her distinctive style and fearless approach have earned her critical acclaim and a loyal fan base.

In addition to her stand-up career, Boosler has appeared in numerous television shows and films, including "Night Court," "The Late Show," and "Broadway Danny Rose." She has also hosted her own talk show, "Applause, Applause," which featured interviews with various celebrities.

Beyond her work in comedy and acting, Boosler is also an active philanthropist and animal rights advocate. She has been involved in various charities and fundraisers, using her platform to raise awareness and funds for causes she is passionate about.

Elayne Boosler's enduring career, marked by laughter and social consciousness, has solidified her as a prominent figure in the world of comedy. Her efforts continue to inspire and entertain audiences across the globe.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I l

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they di

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair,

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so t

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct i

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual plac

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Part

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invad

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving mo

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.