P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

A collection of quotes by P. J. O'Rourke.

P. J. O'Rourke (born Patrick Jake O'Rourke on November 14, 1947) is an American political satirist, journalist, and writer. Known for his humorous and often irreverent style, O'Rourke has established himself as one of America's leading conservative voices.

Born and raised in Toledo, Ohio, O'Rourke attended Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, where he began his career in journalism as a writer for the school newspaper. After college, he worked for various publications including National Lampoon and Rolling Stone, gaining recognition for his witty and insightful articles.

Throughout his career, O'Rourke has authored numerous books that cover a wide range of topics including politics, economics, and travel. Some of his notable works include "Parliament of Whores," "Holidays in Hell," and "Eat the Rich," which satirize political institutions and societal issues.

O'Rourke's writing style is known for its biting humor, sharp wit, and no-holds-barred criticism of political figures and institutions. He has been a correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly and a regular panelist on the television show "Real Time with Bill Maher."

Considered a libertarian conservative, O'Rourke combines his political views with his distinctive brand of humor to offer thought-provoking commentary on American society. Whether tackling serious subjects or entertaining through laughter, P. J. O'Rourke has become a prominent figure in American literary and political circles.

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and u

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Su

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

Satire doesn't effect change.

Satire doesn't effect change.

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.

My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two k

My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental il

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, t

There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.

Women

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.

Truth People

Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something

Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.

Government

I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a ter

I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.

Home

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to disciplin

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Funny

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but ho

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

Government

Always read something that will make you look good if you di

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Good

The Democrats are the party that says government will make y

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

Government

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexu

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Women

I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look ar

I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting.

Art

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

Marriage

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the tru

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.

Government

The inherent purpose of American government is let people se

The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.

Government