Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Summary

This quote humorously defines a conservative as a statesman who is fond of the current problems or "evils" in society, in contrast to a liberal who seeks to introduce different problems in their place. It portrays conservatives as resistant to change and skeptical of proposed solutions, while suggesting that liberals have a tendency to inadvertently create new problems. The quote plays on the contrasting perspectives and approaches of conservatives and liberals, employing satire to highlight the often divergent ideologies and priorities between the two.