My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alkaseltzer.

Summary

This quote humorously implies that the person's wife is a terrible cook and their cooking is so bad that even their dog prefers to eat indigestion-relief medication, like Alka-Seltzer, instead of their food. It emphasizes the poor quality of the wife's cooking skills, suggesting that it is so unappetizing that even a dog would rather eat something meant to alleviate discomfort rather than consume her meals.

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