Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale.She said, It's free with purchase. I asked her if anyonebought anything today.

Steven Wright

The most puzzling thing about TV is the steady advance of the sponsor across the line that has always separated news from promotion, entertainment from merchandising. The advertiser has assumed the role of originator, and the performer has gradually been eased into the role of peddler.

E.B. (Elwyn Brooks) White

[T]he Christian is unable to sin and not care ... They may sin, but they cannot do so comfortably and continually. They are very much aware of their wrong actions, and they are very miserable.

Joyce Meyer

Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age, and to imagine right up to the brink of death that life is only beginning. I think that is the only way to keep adding to one's talent, and one's inner happiness.

George Sand

Doing all we can to combat climate change comes with numerous benefits, from reducing pollution and associated health care costs to strengthening and diversifying the economy by shifting to renewable energy, among other measures.

David Suzuki

As good play for nothing, you know, as work for nothing.

Sir Walter Scott

It seems like such a terrible shame that innocent civilians have to get hurt in wars, otherwise combat would be such a wonderfully healthy way to rid the human race of unneeded trash.

Fred Woodworth

Breathes there a man with soul so dead that it does not glow at the thought of what the men of his blood have done and suffered to make his country what it is? There is room, plenty of room, for proper pride of land and birth. What I inveigh against is a cursed spirit of intolerance, conceived in distrust and bred in ignorance, that makes the mental attitude perennially antagonistic, even bitterly antagonistic, to everything foreign, that subordinates everywhere the race to the nation, forgetting the higher claims of human brotherhood.

William Osler, Chauvinism in Med

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

George Bernard Shaw

No ear can hear nor tongue can tell the tortures of the inward hell!

Lord (George Gordon) Byron

I don't trust Santa Barbara as far as I can spit. I am afraid that if I went back there, it's possible that I could be run through their system, their judicial system, and wind up in some county jail where I could be killed and I'm not gonna take that chance.

Randy Quaid

Modesty forbids what the law does not.

Seneca (Seneca the Elder)