Quote by Steven Wright

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now

Summary

This humorous quote plays with the idea of an answering machine, typically used to relay messages when one is not available to answer a phone call. In this case, the novelty lies in having an answering machine in a car, implying that the person is constantly on the move. The message's irony lies in the contradiction of saying "I'm home now" while emphasizing their unavailability by requesting callers to leave a message for a future call when they are out again. This adds a comedic twist to the traditional answering machine message, highlighting the person's constant movement and busy lifestyle.

By Steven Wright

Liked the quote? Share it with your friends.

Random Quotations

Anti-Catholicism is the anti-Semitism of the intellectual.

Anti-Catholicism is the anti-Semitism of the intellectual.

Patrick J. Buchanan

That moderation which nature prescribes, which limits our de

That moderation which nature prescribes, which limits our desires by resources restricted to our needs, has abandoned the field; it has now come to this -- that to want only what is enough is a sign both of boorishness and of utter destitution.

Seneca (Seneca the Elder)

The non-specific response of the body to any demand for chan

The non-specific response of the body to any demand for change.definition of stress

Hans Selye, General Adaption Syn

And then we met you, and it was like he woke up. You couldn'

And then we met you, and it was like he woke up. You couldn't see it, because you'd never known him any different. But I saw it. Hodge saw it. Alec saw it -why do you think he hated you so much? It was like that form the second we met you. You thought it was amazing that you could see us, and it was, but what was amazing to me was that Jace

Cassandra Clare

Clary Fray Jace Wayland Isabelle Lightwood

Some people steer by the light from the stars, while others

Some people steer by the light from the stars, while others steer by the lights from each passing ship.

Instead of focusing on their individual agendas, collaborati

Instead of focusing on their individual agendas, collaborative partnerships establish common goals. In order to address problems that lie beyond any single agency's exclusive purview, but which concern them all, partners agree to pool resources, jointly plan, implement, and evaluate new services and procedures, and delegate individual responsibility for the outcomes of their joint efforts.This quote comes from an oft-cited monograph by Atelia I. Melaville with Martin J. Blank called What It Takes: Structuring Interagency Partnerships to Connect Children and Families with Comprehensive Services (Washington DC: Education and Human Services Consortium, 1991).http://www.scottlondon.com/reports/ppcc.html

My mom is many times responsible for getting us all together

My mom is many times responsible for getting us all together, but we trade off at each other's houses. My brother and I are actors and are traveling a lot of our job.

All Faith is false, all Faith is true: Truth is the shattere

All Faith is false, all Faith is true: Truth is the shattered mirror strown In myriad bits; while each believes his little bit the whole to own.

Richard Francis Burton

Any work of architecture that has with it some discussion, s

Any work of architecture that has with it some discussion, some polemic, I think is good. It shows that people are interested, people are involved.

For all your days be prepared, and meet them ever alike. Whe

For all your days be prepared, and meet them ever alike. When you are the anvil, bear -- when you are the hammer, strike.

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.

Frederick Douglass

Sometimes I look at this world and it moves me to tears. The

Sometimes I look at this world and it moves me to tears. The joy and terror and the mad bloody drama of it all. I wonder why they never seem to really see it. Maybe one lifetime just isn't enough. Or maybe it's too much. I can't say. But the truth, to be perfectly plain, is that people are always looking for magic in all the wrong places.

Inspirational Fairy Tales