Beauty, like truth, is relative to the time when one lives and to the individual who can grasp it.

All men are created equal. It is what you do from there that makes the difference. We are all free agents in life. We make our own decisions. We control our own destiny.

Glenn Beck

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun...She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.

Steven Wright

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.

Kurt Vonnegut

The nearest to perfection that most people come is when filling out an employment application.

Source Unknown

My mom never taught me to be waiting for some prince on a white horse to swipe me off my feet.

Tyra Banks

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

Moliere

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Dave Barry

Ah, life is a gate, a way, a path to Paradise anyway, why not live for fun and joy and love or some sort of girl by a fireside, why not go to your desire and LAUGH...

Jack Kerouac

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.

A.A. Milne

The need to understand prescription information can literally be a matter of life and death.

Andrew Cuomo

If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.

Stephen Leacock

It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts.

Millard Fuller