Quote by Andrew P. Morrison, The Culture
As a child grows in an environment in which his needs and longings for specialness and warm relatedness are consistently frustrated, he begins to turn away from his own needs in depression and shame. We can imagine the young child wondering, What is wrong with me that I get so little response from my mother? The two possible answers are I am too defective and unworthy of love, and there is something wrong with what I am asking for. In both cases, there is something wrong, either with the child himself or with his needs and desires. This experience of unimportance or wrongness is the common relational backdrop for vulnerability and susceptibility to shame.
Summary
This quote explains how a child's upbringing and environment can greatly influence their self-perception and emotional well-being. When a child's needs for love and connection are consistently unmet, they can internalize this as something being inherently wrong with themselves. This leads to feelings of depression, shame, and a belief that they are unworthy of love. The child begins to question their own worth and either blames themselves for their needs or believes that their needs are inappropriate. This experience sets the stage for vulnerability to shame and a deep sense of unimportance or wrongness in relationships.
Topics
Shame
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