Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

I would like to do something modern and possibly funny.

Dan Stevens

All human life can be found in an airport.

David Walliams

Honor to the Soldier, and Sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his countrys cause. Honor also to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field, and serves, as he best can, the same causehonor to him, only less than to him, who braves, for the common good, the storms of heaven and the storms of battle.

Abraham Lincoln

What's the truth? The truth is what people WANT. Liars are basically idealists, liars are saints and prophets. Jesus was a liar.

Jane Rogers

There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning.

Paulo Coelho

To realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation and when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

Paulo Coelho

Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;Man got to tell himself he understand.

Kurt Vonnegut

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Unless we do things in this country to slow down our population, slow down our birth control, provide better water for people, provide power for people, we're gonna find out that the next wars are not going to be fought over diamonds, gold and political things.

Evel Knievel

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

David Lee Roth

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.

Mark Twain

Those who have been too long at their labor, who have drunk too long at the cup of voluptuousness, who feel they have become temporarily inhumane, who are tormented by their families, who find life sad and love ephemeral; they should all eat chocolate and they will be comforted.

JeanAnthelme BrillatSavarin