Comedy Quotes

Recent studies have shown that approximately 40% of authors are manic depressive. The rest of us just drink.

Melodie Campbell

I love sketch comedy. My real goal is to do something with Albert Brooks. That would be my fantasy. I stay up night and day thinking up stuff he might find funny.

Illeana Douglas

Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.

Lewis Black

I love doing comedy - I get a laugh out of it, it's not so serious.

Carmen Electra

The comic spirit is given to us in order that we may analyze, weigh, and clarify things in us which nettle us, or which we are outgrowing, or trying to reshape.

Thornton Wilder

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts.

Tim Minchin

I love comedy, so you want to make them happy, make them laugh.

Delta Burke

At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.

Eric Idle, (attributed)

I like comedy, I love it very much, I love laughing.

Khandi Alexander

When you get down to it, at it's root, Comedy is truth, absurdity, and pain. One of my little mottos is: 'Do you remember the Peanuts cartoon where Charlie Brown kicked the football and kissed the Little Red Haired Girl? Neither do I.

Lev Yilmaz

My oldest brother used to take me to the theater. The first play he took me to see was 'Black Comedy,' then he took me to see 'Butley.' We'd see all these British plays. And 'Hello, Dolly,' with Pearl Bailey. I was unconsciously thinking, 'Gee, I would love to be able to do that.

Nathan Lane

Friendship is constant in all other thingsSave in the office and affairs of love.Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues.Let every eye negotiate for itself,And trust no agent; for beauty is a witchAgainst whose charms faith melteth into blood.

William Shakespeare

Ma la virilit? si è tutta smammolata in coccolette; il coraggio svaporato in complimenti, e gli uomini sono diventati tutti lingua, come dei pappagalli ammaestrati. Oggi è più valente di un Ercole chi sa meglio mentire e spergiurare. Non posso diventare uomo di mia volont? , e allora morirò donna per disperazione.

William Shakespeare

I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me.

Allan Carr

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Woody Allen

I had to choose, I'd be so sad. They are flip sides of the same coin. I love both comedy and drama.

Dianne Wiest

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.

Mindy Kaling

Don Pedro - (...)'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.'Benedick - The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead, and let me be vildly painted; and in such great letters as they writes, 'Here is good horse for hire', let them signify under my sign, 'Here you may see Benedick the married man.

William Shakespeare

I sat down on the sofa, surrounded by years of coffee rings and sandwich stains. If the police ever did a DNA test on this sofa, it would be ninety per cent disappointment.

Danny Wallace

There's more truth in comedy than in tragedy.

Vanna Bonta