A conservative sees a man drowning 50 feet from shore, throws him a 25 foot long rope, and tells him to swim to it. A liberal throws him a rope 50 feet long, then drops his end and goes off to perform another good deed.

Dignity belongs to the conquered.

Kenneth Burke

Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.

Raoul Vaneigem

I remember once I read a book on mental illness and there was a nurse that had gotten sick. Do you know what she died from? From worrying about the mental patients not being able to get their food. She became a mental patient.

Ornette Coleman

If I could set a world record, it would be that I have 150 business partners, all with thriving businesses of their own that started with nothing and I made the difference to make them all billionaires.

Barbara Corcoran

God has written in the law of nature that when two people are joined in love or friendship, one must always give his heart more perfectly than the other.

George Sand

I like to feel that I understand little things about sports.

Bill James

We do not celebrate the death of our enemies.

Yitzhak Rabin

The greatest gift a parent can give a child is unconditional love. As a child wanders and strays, finding his bearings, he needs a sense of absolute love from a parent. There's nothing wrong with tough love, as long as the love is unconditional.

George Herbert Walker Bush

Once somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. she said No, but I did get the license number.

Rodney Dangerfield

Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. Theylay there and looked at each other. Their families came andtook them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence,they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to eachother. One of them looked at the other and said, So. What didyou think?

Steven Wright

Absence doth sharpen love, presence strengthens it; the one brings fuel, the other blows it till it burns clear.

William Shakespeare

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis on the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement.

Calvin Coolidge