When everything you see appears in dark, gloomy shades, and seems baleful, and you want to tell others only bad and unpleasant things, do not trust your perceptions. Treat yourself as though you were drunk. Take no steps and actions until this state has disappeared.

It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country's main export. It had rain mines.

Terry Pratchett

I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

Steven Wright

History proves abundantly that pure science, undertaken without regard to applications to human needs, is usually ultimately of direct benefit to mankind.

Irving Langmuir

I don't know if bliss is possible and I've always thought that my best times will be later in life.

Alison Krauss

A minority is powerless while it conforms to the majority; it is not even a minority then; but it is irresistible when it clogs by its whole weight.

Henry David Thoreau

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.

Christopher Morley, Inward Ho

To think, when one is no longer young, when one is not yet old, that one is no longer young, that one is not yet old, that is perhaps something.

Samuel Beckett

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

George Bernard Shaw

Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail.

John Dryden

Life is just a dirty four-letter word: W-O-R-K.

J. P. Mcevoy

Those who suffer are not those at the top, but are the less privileged members of society.

Bianca Jagger

I'll have a large number three with fries

Ryan C Polhemus